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Bethesda Lululemon Murder Case Takes Bizarre Turn

19 Mar

Along with many other present and former residents of Bethesda, I was shocked to hear of the murder of Jayna Murray, who died last Friday inside the Lululemon store on Bethesda Row. That evening, Murray and Brittany Norwood returned to the store after closing to retrive a forgotten item. According to Norwood, two masked men then entered the store, tied her up, sexually assaulted both women and somehow killed Murrary during the struggle.

Turns out, none of it was true. Police found no evidence of sexual assault from the two women, noted inconsistencies with Norwood’s story, searched her car and began to consider her a suspect. After they found just two sets of footprints in the store, Norwood became the prime suspect. They now believe she faked her injuries to avoid detection.

The crime rattled the usually crime-free affluent D.C. suburb. Witnesses now claim to have heard both women arguing the night of the crime. Norwood will appear in court soon.

Lululemon murder scene.

Lickety Split Ice Cream Truck Actually Sells $1 Million in Oxycodone

19 Mar

Staten Island had one of the most popular ice cream trucks last summer, but for all the wrong reasons. Two men used the Lickety Split ice cream as a front to sell the highly addictive painkiller Oxycodone for $20 a pop. Allegedly, the two men found an accomplice who swiped blank doctor’s script from an unsuspecting practitioner in Manhattan. The men then forged the prescriptions and had a team of runners— friends, family and addicts— fill the orders at various pharmacies.

Though a poorly kept secret in the community, no one told the police of the scheme until a runner was arrested with a suspicious prescription. Now, 31 people have been indicted for the scheme. The two ringleaders allegedly acquired the pills for $1.66 each but sold them for $20. Over the course of a year, they sold 42,755 pills and netted more than $1 million.

Lickety Split Ice Cream

Babies Behaving Badly

18 Mar

Sometimes kids do the darndest things.

1) Baby’s First Swear Word: This little kid must have been around a potty mouth parent. She learned a colorful word really quickly.

2) Children Using the Internet Earlier: 80 percent of all children between the ages of 0 and 5 use the internet on a weekly basis. Between the ages of 0 and 3, 47% of technology use occurs in front of a television. With that in mind, 60 percent of children under age 3 watch videos online. Kids are also multitasking, using the internet and the TV simultaneously. You know, because they have to live-blog their favorite episodes of “Dora the Explorer” from their smartphones.

3) World’s Youngest Alcoholic at Age 3: A British child has been treated for symptoms of alcohol dependency at a local hospital. What’s truly horrifying is that the child is 3. Doctors believe the baby was given alcohol on a regular basis for at least 6 months. Alcoholism remains a huge problem in the UK.

Alcohol

 

Nuclear Crisis in Japan Explained by Pooping Boy

17 Mar

Terrifying imagination of Japan’s nuclear crisis. This was designed for children. Keep that in mind. Lots of poop and farts.

Elvis’ Candid NSFW Comment

17 Mar

Elvis

In 1972, Elvis was sitting in the back of a limousine with his father Vernon, Joe Esposito, Red West and a film crew. He thinks they can only record the picture, and don’t have any sound. They’re discussing a NASA launch when Elvis slips in (no pun intended) his NSFW comment.