Police in Boxford, Massachusetts had to respond to a truly bizarre call the other evening. The town’s police received a call around 9 p.m. on a Sunday evening, reporting that six cows were loose on the Main Street of the town of 8,000.
Officers responded and tracked the cows for a while, but then the herd of six made a mad dash away from the cops. They stumbled upon a gathering of 12 to 13 teenage girls who had been enjoying their Sunday evening with drinking games in a backyard.
The cows crashed the party and began drinking some of the beer. The girls were startled.
“I saw one cow drinking the beer on its way down as it spilled off the table,” Lt. James Riter told WickedLocal Boxford (who has a photo). “Some of the cows were also picking through the empties in the recycling bin. They just went in and helped themselves.”
Apparently, the cows didn’t want to leave.
“Because the cows were having such a good time at the [party] house, it was hard to get them to leave,” area resident Peter Perkins said. “Once we got them started, there was a lot of hollering and yelling to keep them moving. We had a cruiser positioned at the front and back of the cows.”
Famed half-term governor of Alaska Sarah Palin was in Boston earlier this week and decided to offer everyone a history lesson on Paul Revere. Here’s a transcript of her comments.
He who warned, uh, the … the British that they weren’t gonna be takin’ away our arms, uh, by ringin’ those bells and, um, by makin’ sure that as he’s ridin’ his horse through town to send those warnin’ shots and bells that, uh, we were gonna be secure and we were gonna be free … and we were gonna be armed.
Among the problems with her account:
- We were all British then: There was no difference between the people Revere warned and the British troops, at least in the way Palin described it. We were all British and considered under the reign of the King of England.
- There were no second amendment rights: Palin seems to suggest that the troops wanted to take away some right of the Americans to bear arms. Well, there were no protections like that.
- Revere fired no shots during his ride: The point of his midnight ride (which he did with around 40 other people, by the way) was to move silently through the area because there were so many British soliders around. He certainly didn’t fire any guns and also never shouted, “The British are coming! The British are coming!” as has been popularly reported.,
- Lanterns, not bells, were how the message was communicated: Remember, the point of the ride was not to raise the alarm. Silence was key. Lanterns were the method of choice to communicate. Much quieter than trees.
Those are just the most obvious problems with Palin’s statement. She has gone on
to say, “I didn’t mess up” with her account of the ride. Normally, I agree that talking about this woman is losing precious seconds of our lives that we can’t get back, but this error is so egregious it needs to be corrected.
God, she is stupid. Who would ever vote for her?