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Individually Wrapped Bananas

3 Mar

I wish it wasn’t true. Del Monte is testing, and will likely soon unveil, individually wrapped bananas at convenience stores and other locations throughout the United States and UK. They will be sold with the tagline: “Natural Energy Snack on the Go.” They will also probably coat significantly more than an individually purchased banana in a grocery store (around $1 each in the United States).

The company also claims the move is actually green. The packaging will prevent the fruit from ripening too quickly, thus prolonging its shelf life. Environmental experts say that the fruit’s natural skin provides any sort of protection from germs and the plastic is an unnecessary harm to the environment.

Bananas Wrapped

Councilman Robbed Twice in One Day

2 Mar

New York City Councilman Stephen Levin didn’t expect for Sunday to be unlike any other weekend day. Then, it turned into a horrible day. Early that morning, a thief used a potted plant to smash a window and break into his office. Once inside, he attempted to make off with some electronic equipment. A neighbor spotted the burglar and called the police. Once they arrived, the officers were shocked to discover the thief was still inside. Crisis averted!

They called Levin who immediately left to go to the office. He ran out to his car and… the car was gone. Early that same morning, someone made off with the councilman’s car. Police believe the two crimes are unrelated. Poor Mr. Levin. He’s just really unlucky.

Councilman Stephen Levin

Most Shopping Carts Contain Fecal Bacteria

2 Mar

Another silly scientific study, but this one is silly because I just didn’t need to know the results. Like going to the supermarket and using shopping carts? You shouldn’t. Researchers from the University of Arizona examined 85 shopping carts from around 4 states. They found that 72 percent of those carts contained the marker for fecal bacteria. When they examined 36 of those carts more closely, they found half of them contained e coli bateria.

Lead researcher Charles Gerba said the shopping carts were more contaminated than the average public bathroom. Say what? Well, public bathrooms are usually cleaned and disinfected daily, while shopping carts are rarely (if ever) cleaned. Additionally, reusable grocery bags contain large amounts of bacteria. Gerba compared using them consistently to “wearing the same underwear every day.”

You can use a disinfectant wipe before pushing a cart, and wash your bags every so often. Or you can panic and just give up.

Shopping Carts

Man Boards Plane With Three Boxcutters

2 Mar

Sounds eerily similar to the events of 9/11. A New Jersey factory worker was flying to the Santiago from JFK Airport in New York last evening and boarded his plane. Once on board, the flight attendent asked him to stow his carry-on in the bin above his seat. When the passengers complied with the instructions, the box cutters fell out of his bag.

The flight attendent immediately seized the box cutters and notified the captain of the airplane. All 136 passengers and five crew members were immediately evacuated. Canine units swept the plane for bombs, and re-screened all the passengers. The man who brought the weapons on board simply forgot to take them out of his bag after work. He was not charged with any crimes.

Carry On Bags

Another Religious Figure Nabbed For Sex Crime

1 Mar

Unfortunately, these stories have become far too common. Today’s culprit from the pulpit is Rev. Grant Storms. In the past, Storms angrily protested the Southern Decadence festival in New Orleans, which celebrated the gay and lesbian lifestyle during a three-day festival during Labor Day weekend.

Today, New Orleans police officers arrested Storms for masturbating at a park while looking at kids playing on nearby equipment. A woman was unloading her car when she spotted Storms in his van. She removed her children from the van and asked another woman to confirm what she saw. After confirming, a park employee called police and watched Storms until they arrived.

Initially, Storms offered perhaps the lamest excuse ever for his behavior. He said that he needed to urinate, but didn’t want to use the restroom and opted for a water bottle. Weird. Later, Storms confessed to having his “hands in his pants” but denied masturbating or any other inappropriate behavior.

Grant Storms

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